Losing Grandma

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

This quote describes a wonderful lady we lost on January 29th, 2015.  Ethel Siecgrist, my grandma, went to be with the Lord.  She was 96 years old.  

The funeral was both beautiful and, of course, sad.  I know Grandma is in a better place.  She’s rejoicing with God, she’s pain-free, and she’s with her husband and her daughter.  The sadness is for the ones she left behind.  

Grandma was quite an example.  She was quiet, but her actions were loud.  She was the first to lend a helping hand and the last to gossip or criticize.  She was the glue for our giant family.  Everyone ended up at Grandma’s at some point on Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Those who live close could always be found at her house on Wednesday nights after church, indulging in the goodies she continued to make until her last days.   

My aunt, Carolyn, wrote a wonderful remembrance that I read at Grandma’s funeral:

Ethel Siecgrist was born October 16, 1918 on the family farm in Elk township to Chris Edward and Freda Josephine Swanson Peterson. After Ethel graduated 8th grade, the family moved to Michigan Valley.  She attended her first three years of high school there, but was disappointed that the small school did not offer secretarial classes.  She knew if she wanted to get a job in an office, she would need those skills.  The only solution she saw was to move to Topeka and attend Topeka High her senior year.

During the summer before her senior year, her sister Millie, who lived in Topeka, watched the classified ads in the newspaper and found something she thought would be perfect for mom.  A couple wanted someone 18 or older to live in their home to do light housekeeping and cook.  The problem was, mom was 16.  Her sister encouraged her to lie about her age and ask about the job.  She got up enough nerve to apply, telling them she was 18, as her sister said to do.  The couple, Charles and Nellie Spangler, liked mom and hired her to work for them.

It was going to be a long walk for mom to attend Topeka High, so Nellie – a school teacher- asked the principal at Topeka Catholic School if mom could attend her senior year there.  She agreed.

Mom’s 17th birthday came along during the time she was living with the Spanglers.   They invited mom’s sister Millie over to the house to celebrate with cake and ice cream.  Charles asked mom, “How does it feel to be 19 years old?”  Millie spoke up right away saying, “She’s not 19 – she’s 17!”  Mom’s face turned red and she reminded Millie later that she was the one who told her to lie about her age in the first place.  The Spanglers like Mom and did not fire her.   She graduated in 1935 and continued to live with them until marrying dad.

After high school graduation, mom attended Strickler Business School.  Due to the Depression, a good job was hard to find, but mom found various jobs including one at WIBW radio station.   

She met dad,  Frank Siecgrist,  at a dance.  Dad took to her right away.  He was afraid mom would not date him because he was nine years older than she.  So he lied about his age.  Seems like it runs in the family!  She found out a few months later, but didn’t care because by then they were in love. Their dates consisted of meeting friends and family at Kresge’s 5 & 10 in downtown Topeka.   When asked how she knew that dad was “the one”, she said she missed him when he didn’t show up.  The married June 22, 1940 at First United Methodist Church in Topeka.  This union brought three children:  Carolyn Lee, Shirley Jean and Jerry Lynn.

The family lived in Topeka until 1947 when they moved to Carbondale.  In 1953, the family moved to the Swanson farm, the house mom’s grandparents built in 1878.  They moved back to Carbondale in 1955 where they lived until 1973 when they built a new house north of there.

Mom’s secretarial skills proved to be valuable.  After staying home to raise the family and doing odd jobs, mom started working at Blue Cross Blue Shield in 1968.  She continued working there until retiring in June of 1985.  What’s funny is, she could have retired a year earlier but got mixed up as to how old she was.  She lost dad that fall on October 24th.  Mom remained in the home that she and dad built until the time of her death.

Mom was a go-getter helping us with a myriad of projects including canning from the garden, putting up corn in her basement, patching endless pairs of jeans, sewing clothes and turning collars.  She also pitched in at church helping with cleaning, special events, and in the kitchen.  One of her biggest concerns in the last few years was that she was a burden to her family.  She never wanted to put people out, mowing her own lawn until she was 90, picking up sticks in the yard, and doing her own laundry to name a few.  She was an example to us all.

Her sisters, Pearl Wegner and Millie Schutter, Her husband, Frank and her daughter, Shirley Jean, preceded mom in death.  She leaves behind her daughter Carolyn and husband John, and her son Jerry and his wife Linda, son-in-law Earl Clark, 8 grandchildren, 16 great-grandchildren and 2 great-great grandchildren.  

In an interview mom gave her granddaughter Michelle last year she said a successful life was one where you have enough money to meet your needs, don’t complain, accept what life brings you, don’t expect handouts, be happy and enjoy life as much as you can.

The hardest part of the funeral, for me, was watching my parent bury his parent.  At the end of the service my mom and dad, and aunt and uncle walked up to the casket to say a final goodbye to Grandma.  A daughter and son grieving for their mom - I couldn’t help but flash forward a generation and imagine Kyle, Michelle and I in the same position.  A whisper in my mind kept saying “I don’t want to lose my mom and dad” over and over.  I’m not ready. I never will be.