More than I ever needed to know about...Toilets

As far as I'm concerned there are only a handful of things I need to know about toilets.  They include:

• They are necessary to all human beings.
• All human beings who don't have to sit SHOULD PUT THE SEAT DOWN for those of us who do...so we don't fall in.
• All human beings who have no aim what-so-ever should sit no matter what, basically nullifying the need for the second bullet point.
• Cleaning them sucks.

See, I think that's a pretty good list.  I was wrong.  Horribly wrong.  Apparently one needs to know the dimensions of the  different parts.   My understanding is that the people should by a 3" flush valve and at least a 2-inch outlet. This is especially important when flushing.  There is a definite wooshing sound instead of the slow circle and the possibility of remnants in the bowl (All Ally McBeal fans should remember that reference!)   Oh and the taller ones are more comfortable for people my age and above.  WHHHHHAAAAAATTTT?  I just want to take care of my business and get outta there.  I don't linger, nor do I understand those who do.  I just wanted to go to Menards, buy a stool and get out.  Done. 

Sigh.  My education in all things home improvement is growing, and I am happy to day I am now the proud owner of a new toilet for the hall bathroom.  All visitors will marvel over the awesomeness of said toilet, I am sure.  Plus, if they linger, their legs won't fall asleep because the toilet is taller than standard.  Mic drop!  Lol.